Taglines, taglines, more taglines!

We have entered an era where music is no longer an art for all to enjoy,
but rather a form of private property that must be regulated and taxed.

In the cloud no one sees you scream.

Windows 7: We heard it's a lucky number.

RMS - a man who can polarize a room into warring factions just by walking by. (Joe Barr)

If You're Livin' On The Edge... MOVE OVER!..There are people waiting to Jump!

You gotta punch the clock, so why not punch your boss?

Please don't call IIS unstable, it's simply uptime challenged.

As for the philosophical stuff, think of it as broccolli: it's good for you... (Brian Germain)

When people look like ants - pull. When ants look like people - pray.

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a light bulb? "That is a known problem..... don't worry about it."

There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done

I'm Feewing Wucky (Google in Elmer Fudd)

Survival of the fittest........ and we have the guns!

Windows... Good for targeting rocks.

I've Downed my semaphore, now UP YOURS!

I love it whem a .plan comes together

God, I love the smell of burning Karma in the morning....

Unfortunately common sense isn't very common.

Codito, ergo sum

#include "stddisclaimer.h"

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a 747 filled with CD-ROMs.

Linux installed. It is now safe to turn ON your computer...

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a GNU.

[Connection closed by foreign host]

Only two things are infinite: The universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the former.

Recursive: Adj. See Recursive.

If it is not on fire, it is a software problem.

When encryption is outlawed bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir rapelcgvba

"If we do not succeed, we risk failure" -- Vice Fearless Leader #41

Kill -9 'em all, let root@localhost sort 'em out

:wq!

The line must be drawn here. This far. No further.

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

I'm out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message.....

If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

A well done medium is rare

Who needs original thought when there are so many unoriginal thoughts you can use?

I told you not to read this... why didn't you listen?

Sigmentation fault. Comment dumped.

Windows has detected a mouse movement. Please restart Windows so changes can take effect.

Computers are like air conditioners. They stop working when you open Windows.

Under Capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it's the other way around

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

"Captain - I cannot believe my ears!" - Spock to Kirk

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

Gosh that takes me back... or is it forward? That's the trouble with time travel, you never can tell."

Users' impressions of different operating systems: Linux: :) Windows: XP

Disc space -- the final frontier!

MBA's: Can't live with 'em. Can't legally torture them to death.

easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841

We are born naked, wet and cold. Then things get worse.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

The faulty interface lies between the chair and the keyboard.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Landing: a controlled mid-air collision with a planet

And the only thing the Borg left was Windows 98

Go where no man has gone before: the ladies bathroom!

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead

"What's up, doc?" - Ensign Bugs to Crusher

WOMAN.ZIP - Great program. No documentation, but great to unZIP

User error: Replace any key and hit user to continue

Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is carrying the umbrella

Polaroids: Polar bears get these from sitting on ice flows

A computer cuts your work in half and gives you back the bloody ends

LSD: Virtual reality without the expensive hardware

"Cut my pizza in six slices. I can't eat eight"

...Luke ...Luke ...Use the mouse, Luke - Obi Wan Gates

!edis gnorw eht morf siht ta gnikool era uoY

Life is still in beta test.

NO CARRIER... Oh well, I didn't want to land anyway !

A wock is what you thwow at a wabbit.

Rumour: NT means Not Tested

dh0:system/utils/helpfiles/ascii/where/the/f^%(/am_i?

If a dog bites you 1048576 times, is that a megabite?

I've got a Mickey Mouse PC with a Goofy OS.

CAUTION: Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Eye.

In DoubleSpace, no one can hear you scream.

Sergeant, why's General Failure reading my hard disk?

"Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?"

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

If you choke a smurf, what colour does he turn?

REAL programmers use Copy Com1 PROGRAM.ZIP and Whistle

grep..grep..grep... (A frog with UNIX stuck in throat)

DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something....

Death is just God's way of dropping carrier.

A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

Error, no keyboard . . . Press F1 to continue.

Help, I've fallen and I can't . . . Hey! Nice carpet!

The secret of the universe is @*#^^^ NO CARRIER

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Consciousness - that annoying time between naps.

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.

There are 3 kinds of people in the world - those who can count and those who can't.

Nothing is so simple that it can't get screwed up.

If it isn't broken, don't fix it.

There are some days when it takes all you've got to keep up with the losers.

The world is not user friendly.

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's within walking distance.

43.3% of statistics are meaningless.

If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of it's nose?

Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something . . .

A.A.A.A.A. - an organization for drunks who drive.

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.

I backed up my hard drive and ran into a bus.

MacIntosh - a computer with training wheels you can't remove.

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

It's been fun, but I have to scream now.

1st Rule of Electronics - keep the smoke inside.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

I may be lost but I'm way ahead of schedule.

Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!

I made it foolproof but they're making better fools . . .

He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

If at first you don't succeed, deny you even tried.

A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.

Press to test. Release to detonate.

A.A.A.A.A. - American Association Against Acronym Abuse.

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.

Don't play STUPID with me . . . I'm BETTER at it!

No matter who you vote for, the government wins.

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue . . .

Shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Anything that can go wrong will.

Careful planning will never replace dumb luck.

Ever stop to think and then forget to start again?

Every man has a scheme that absolutely won't work.

If you see an onion ring . . . answer it.

It's hard to fly with eagles when you work with turkeys.

Smile . . . people will wonder what you've been up to.

Teamwork is vital . . . it gives you someone to blame.

When in doubt, mumble.

Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits.

Trying to learn about software is like trying to nail Jello to a tree.

No problem is so big or complicated that it can't be run away from.

I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right.

Beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean. Against bars, posts and tables.

Love your enemies. It makes them so damn mad.

Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground . . . and missing.

Typical engineering - measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk, and cut it with an axe.

Keep your mouth shut and people will think you're stupid; open it and you will remove all doubt.

if everything is under control you're not going fast enough

my mind is like a parachute, nine cells and i'm happy

Not an explosion - just a "prompt exothermic disassembly"


Written by my own two hands and an ASCII editor. Problems? write me Last updated January 30, 2005 Back home

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